Thoughts

Just a few random thoughts....

I'm glad I'm doing this. I am feeling better and that's the most important thing. Losing the weight is nice, too, but this is a life change. No more going back to the old habits (except for my days off :)

I'm worried about Wilma. She hasn't been on here in a while, and I know she was very upset on Sunday. I hope she knows I'm pulling for her.

I am trying to decide what to do about this weekend... BB and I are going away for the weekend, and our normal weigh-in is on Sunday. I am NOT lugging my scale along in my suitcase. So, I might have us skip a weekly weigh-in. That is NOT the start of a downward spiral, but I don't want to weigh in a day early and I don't want to lug the scale. Weighing in AFTER Sunday morning is NOT an option. I'll have to run it by BB and see how she feels about it.

I'm doing better this week about getting in enough calories, but today wasn't as good as the rest of the week. I'm only up to about 1200, and I know that's not enough. I hate to eat this late, but I AM hungry.

Enough random thoughts for now.... Betty

New Numbers (Betty)

New Weight: 355
Pounds Lost This Week: 2
Pounds Lost So Far: 29
Pounds to Goal: 29

Halfway there. I was telling Wilma yesterday (in the way you can only tell your absolute bestest friend in the world) that I think I might not be getting enough fiber. So my goal this week is going to be to eat more fiber....

I'm happy with the two pound loss. Keep plugging along, and eventually we'll get where we want to be.

Now, Bam-Bamette did great again! Her new numbers are:

New Weight: 226
Pounds Lost This Week: 3
Pounds Lost So Far: 12
Pounds to Goal: 11

She's very proud of herself (as she should be), and I know she was feeling like she might not have lost anything this week, so she was pleasantly surprised. She is OVER halfway there!

Last Sunday Bam-Bamette and I went to this cheapy store and saw yoga mats there for $5 each, so we bought two. You see, I have this "yoga for fat chix" DVD that I bought several years ago (and have yet to do completely - although we did put it in the DVD player the other week and did a few of the poses). That's going to have to be one of my next steps - increasing exercise. Again, it's a time issue, much like why it is difficult for me to take time during the workday to eat properly, but I know it is necessary and will make the effort to incorporate some exercise somewhere. I do walk at different times during the day - it adds up to a total of about 20 minutes (that's at a brisk pace, because it's always as I'm trying to catch a train), but that is not enough.

Alright, sayonara. We're heading out for breakfast :)

(Wilma) - "Dreading Tomorrow"

Well the time is coming soon where I'll have to go to that freakin' scale again and let it humiliate me once more! I often wonder why I bother to weigh myself - I never get the results I'm looking for.... I sometimes feel like I'd rather go with how I feel about my changes - but frankly - those last couple of weeks, I "FELT" like I was doing pretty good and there was Mr. Scale with no good news to give me! :O(

I've been REALLY good all week - so I REALLY hope that there are some decent results there. (REALLY HOPE!!) I had a brief weakness of NEEDING pizza earlier this week - but my husband didn't let me give in and I'm thankful for it as he's been known to sabotage a few diets here and there.. I don't necessarily think it was ever on purpose - more of a subconcious thing - like if I didn't eat the stuff he was eating he would feel bad. And he didn't want me to be unhappy - giving into my food cravings is a good way to keep me happy. (How sad is that?!)

He's recently gotten some health news that we need to take seriously - I think the changes he's going to have to make will ultimately be a benefit for both of us..

Well tomorrow's the big day..... and Mr. Scale - if you're listening.. If you know what's good for you.. If you don't want me to flip you over on your stomach and rip out your batteries one by one until your digital heart stops beating then I suggest you give me what I want - a weight LOSS! :P

Peas Out! - Wilma

Scale Peekers Anonymous?

So, I've been really good this week, but I've been peeking at the scale here and there and I NEED TO STOP THAT! I can't help it - I'm nosy. Always have been, always will. I was the kid who searched for her Christmas presents until she found them, unwrapped them, and then REWRAPPED them so that no one knew! EVERY YEAR!

This is destructive behavior, though, when on a healthy-eating plan. I know better than to expect the dramatic weight losses of the first few weeks to continue, but it is still painful when the slowdown happens. I'm determined to stay with this until the bitter end - and I WILL do it - but I hate that I make things difficult for myself.

All I wanted was pizza!

So, I'm on the way home from work tonight, chatting with my husband on the phone and all I can think is "I really want pizza tonight".. So, I mentioned it casually in the conversation. He, of course, VETO'd the idea and I, of course, got mad! But his point was - it's not my free day and we can wait till Sunday to have it. Okay, fine - I was really mad - like a spoiled child who didn't get her toy! It had passed in about five min and I was alright again but how in the world does food take so much control over your mind/emotions that you can't accept a simple NO. It's crazy!!

I noticed a while back (like a year ago) that while I was eating one meal I was planning the next one! That's just a little out of whack. I'm not as bad now, but still - it's obvious my emotions are a really big part of this whole transformation.. Something I need to keep in mind.

PS - I came home and ate a salad and fish. :P .... Peas Out! (get it?! LOL!) - Wilma

Betty's Midnight Musings

I really need to go to bed, but I felt like writing a bit. I am having trouble this week - I am not eating enough. I know that is not good. I want to eat more. However, I have a limited amount of time during the day for anything besides sitting at my desk at work. I know that sounds ridiculous, and it's too much to explain, but every minute I'm away from my desk costs me money, and I am trying desperately to make every dollar I can right now. So I eat something quick in the morning, and then I run to Subway at lunch for a turkey sub (which is very reasonable, calorie-wise), and then I don't eat anything until I come home, usually pretty late. I eat when I come home, but I really don't feel like eating a whole lot, because then it just lies in my stomach all night. I think what I need to do is start taking or buying two separate meals - one for lunch, then something I can eat at my desk for dinner (without having to waste a bunch of time running back out or standing and heating something in the microwave).

It's weird, because I don't feel overly hungry, for the most part. But I know I'm not eating enough, and I know that I won't lose weight if I don't eat enough, so I have to nip this in the bud now.

Personal Note Right Back to Wilma

Of course I know you love me! And you know I love you too!! I want you to use this blog however it helps you to do so! Have a great day off today :) I'm having toast to take the edge off until we go for lunch...

Personal Note to Betty...

I think Betty knows how much I love her but just in case she has any doubt...

I love you, Betty. You're my best friend and I want the best for you. I want you to be happy and healthy! So, you keep doing what you're doing and I'll catch up. But don't take my comments or anger about my struggles as any way directed at you, because it's not. I am gonna let my personality really come out in the posts. Really write what I'm feeling. I felt so much better after REALLY writing what I felt. You know I have a sarcastic side - and this is a self loathing method for me to voice how disgusted I am with myself (not how well you're doing). Remember we are in this together - and as long as it takes either one of us, we're here for each other. I'm going to have tough times and you'll have tough times so bare with me.

PS - don't know if you lost weight yet this week, but I'm proud of you either way! :o)

-Wilma

Weigh In - Wilma

ZERO pounds lost - no loss, no gain.

Wow! I'm really kicking it here, aren't I? I'm ALMOST to the point of giving up. And if you have struggled with your weight all your life, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's horrendous when you see NO weight loss or very little (like last week) and you think you tried really hard - including getting in some exercise. SO... I'm going to try something different this week - perhaps the way I was doing it these past weeks wasn't the right thing for me. I'm going to try the Michael Thurmond plan - I did it before and definitely lost 30 lbs in the first six weeks. I was following it these past weeks - sort of - but I'm going to get really knowledgeable about the science behind his plan and put every effort into making it work to see if it'll help me fix my zero weight loss issues. Because, you all know that if you 'sort of ' do anything, it never works out as well as if you put every effort into following the plan correctly. I'm sure Betty will get on here later today and tell us how well she did and I'm extremely happy for her! She, no doubt, will hit our first 15% goal before me. But, as much as I love her, I do have a competitive side (not a John McEnroe type, more like a Tiger Woods type where you want great things for everyone but you also want to be the best at what you do) so I'm going to tap into that part of my personality and see if I can knock a few strokes off my game! :oP

Today, however, I'm going to let it be a free day and I have a few things I would like to eat today. Plus I always look forward to my Sunday breakfast with my husband.. I'm going to try to blog more often. The last two posts seem to help me get out my feelings.

Betty's Progress

New Weight: 357
Pounds Lost This Week: 3
Pounds Lost So Far: 27
Pounds to Goal: 31

And so the slowdown starts... I'm happy with 3 pounds, because I know it could have been a lot worse. I struggled this week a bit with time issues - not taking the time to eat regularly. I had a couple days that I didn't even hit 1000 calories, which is NOT what I need to be doing. I think it was a combination of things, but one of the reasons was having the flu or some nasty cold bug. But regardless the reason, I know that I need to do things differently, and this week I am going to make an effort to not let that happen again.

Bam-Bamette lost another 3 pounds, which brings her down to 229. She's very happy with it - and I am very happy for her. I should say that she is only 17, and she has been struggling with weight issues for about the last 5 0r 6 years (coincidentally, about the same length of time it's been since her father and I separated). She's about 5'7" or so, so her weight range is 128 - 160. I think her personal goal is about 150, which would be fine for her, in my opinion. So she has a while to go, but she's being very responsible about it and doing a great job. She will typically have a protein bar for breakfast on the way out the door to school. At school, for lunch, she has a salad, then at night she has something we either make for both of us, or something she puts together for herself. She has some special dietary challenges - she is vegetarian for the most part. She'll eat fish (but says she's going to stop that at some point), so she always had been getting her protein from fatty protein sources (cheese). She's focusing more on soy/bean sources of protein, which is a good change for her.

At some point here, I (we) really need to start focusing on finding time for a bit of exercise. I was thinking that maybe once the weather gets a little better here we'll start out slow by walking. I'd really like to get up early and do that before work (and before Bam-Bamette, who we are going to refer to as BB from now on, goes to school), but that might be a little ambitious.

And so, we're off. We're changing it up a bit this week - instead of going for breakfast, we're going for lunch at a favorite Italian place...

Happy Weekend!

Okay tomorrow is Valentines Day.. It was EXTREMELY hard for me to go pick up a Valentines Day card and some candy for my sweetie knowing I couldn't eat any of it - and on top of that, I was starving because I skipped eating lunch (yes, I know.. I know.. that's whole different paragraph!! BUT, I managed to make it into the store and back out without a drop of candy touching my lips!! I'm getting a little smarter about some things, you see, I picked him up candy that I knew I wouldn't eat.. Whoppers, Non-Perils and Charleston Chews.. YUCK! ;oP

Now about my skipping lunch - which is happening more and more recently because I just don't stop long enough to eat. It's not that I'm not hungry, I am - I just can't bring myself to stop long enough to go heat up what I brought with me and eat. It's a relatively minor task and could take me all of 5 min to run out to the break room - microwave my leftovers - and get back to my desk (I can eat at my desk and work straight through lunch). The hard part is TAKING THE BREAK! I guess there are a couple of reasons - if I work through lunch, I get paid for it. I also feel obligated to keep working (or maybe if I take a break I feel like I'll lose my edge) to get done my stuff and help out others. In a way I see it as a waste of time. The longer I'm away from my desk, the less work I get done. I can't even sit there and do one task - I have to be doing at least two things - that drives me a little crazy that I can't seem to stop it..

So - my hubby thinks that's part of the reason for the (eh hem) very minor weightloss last week. Minor? Shit! It was mini-minor, almost going backwards to gaining!!! Grrrrrrr! Still aggravates me.. Oh yeah, and there's Betty 'brow beating' me for eating too many carbs.. I kid, Betty! I kid! You know I love ya!! :=) She's right, I guess. I need to get more protein and fresh/frozen veggies in my plan. However, for the most part, the carbs that I eat come from fruit, brown rice and plain instant cooked oatmeal so they aren't bad carbs - probably just not balanced out too well. Oh and of course my carb bars - which I ALWAYS depend on when I'm trying to figure out a weightloss plan - they are quick, filling and chocolatey (and that's three big bonuses in my book). Well I have WAY more on my mind but I'm going to cut it short for now.. Ahhhhh - this is kind of therapeutic - just don't hold it agains me later..

What to do, what to do...?

I see Wilma is upset. I don't know if she wants me to help her find ways to make changes in her plan. I do think she is right about the protein in the morning issue.

I also know she should stop comparing her losses to mine. I have A LOT more to lose than her, so I am going to drop more, quickly, up front. It's a competition, that much is true, but we are also in this for the long haul and will plod on for as long as it takes both of us to get there.

Week #3 Weigh In - Wilma

New Weight: 271.0
Pounds Lost This Week: .4 (yes that's not even a half a pound!)
Pounds Lost So Far: 8
Pounds to Goal: 33.8

Okay - I'm disgusted! I'm sure it's my fault that I lost no pounds.. Betty is beating the crap out of me with these major pounds lost! I'm sure it was a multitude of things that created the results I got and I'm going to look back on my texts/IM archives and see if I can figure out anything specifically. It was so cold this week, that I hibernated (meaning exercise was minimal for me this week) and I was exhausted most of the week so I slept alot. I didn't have near the protein I usually have in the morning from my lack of memory to hard boil eggs! GEEZ!! Never mind! I figured out the problem - IT'S ME! I'm disgusted! I don't want to talk about it anymore.. - Wilma out. (and pissed off!!)

Betty's Updates

New Weight: 360
Pounds Lost This Week: 7
Pounds Lost So Far: 24
Pounds to Goal: 34

One of these weeks it's going to slow down, and I have to mentally prepare myself for that. In the meantime, though, I am going to enjoy feeling my pants get looser. And speaking of which, this time it is going to be mandatory for me to get rid of my 'fat clothes' as they become too big. Maybe save one of my pairs of jeans as a reminder of where I started (or in case I ever need to cut them up and make them into clothes for a family of four), but otherwise they need to go.

Bam-Bammette lost another 3 pounds again this week, so her grand total is now 6. Her goal weight range is 150 - 160; she needs to lose 72 -82 pounds to get to that. Her first goal (10%, since she doesn't have nearly as much to lose, by 4/23) is 23 pounds, so she has 17 more to go for that!

Betty

ONE MORE REASON TO STICK WITH THIS!

Alright, as if I didn't have enough of a reason to do something about my weight issue previously, I endured one of the most humiliating episodes in recent history last night. At the last minute, Bam-Bammette and I decided to go catch a performance of our favorite show on its Broadway tour in our city. We bought the "last minute" cheapo tickets, and when they let us in to find our seats, MY ASS DID NOT FIT IN THE SEAT.

At this point, I had three options: 1) forfeit the $60 I'd paid for the tickets and go home; 2) fork over an additional $100 for seats in another section (apparently the fat-ass section); or 3) come up with a plan - PRONTO. I chose option #3 and, thanks to two incredibly sweet ushers and a SLIGHT stretching of the truth (I can't even admit to what that was - stay tuned - I WILL fess up at some point!) we were able to enjoy the show despite my fat ass!

So, it is QUITE obvious that my weight is interfering with my ability to live a normal life. Of course I knew that before, but when something like this happens, it truly is an eye-opener and incentive to make permanent changes.

I am glad that Wilma and I are in this for the long haul. I need her support :)

Betty

Thoughts from Wilma

I texted Betty today to tell her I thought I felt a difference in my clothes today. I really felt energetic too! I'm honestly hoping to break into the 260's this week! Of course, I did 'falter' if you want to call it that. I ate half a meatball parm sandwich for an early lunch the other day. Of course I fessed up right away, but I really got to thinking about this. I can't just deny myself something all of the time. I chose to eat it, taking into consideration the time of day it was AND I adjusted my eating for the rest of the day to limit carbs and drink lots of water. I've noticed that I'm having more "hungry" times. I've staved off the urge to eat junk for the most part. I take lots of food with me so I'm not 'at risk' and I don't just "give in" like I used to. The last few weeks have tested me in different scenerios of where the "Old Wilma" would have ended up with a mound of junk food - but I didn't even have the urge. For example: I've been in a few drug stores and I have NO idea why but I always leave there with junk food. (snacky stuff, like candy, combos, chocolate milk, sodas, etc) Well, I've been in a few drug stores recently (because I've been sick and needed to pick up meds and I haven't had the urge to even dabble in those aisles!! That's a tremendous thing for me! So, I'm going to keep positive take each moment as it comes along and not beat myself up for allowing myself things. The idea is MODERATION. Everything in MODERATION, right? - Wilma.

Monday February 2nd

Settling into another week... I'm getting more excited about this each day. I am so hopeful that this will be the time. I think it will :)

At some point we'll have to post some photos. Minus our faces, lest anyone we know in real life match us up with our weights, at which point I'd have to go into seclusion! Because, as we know, we have people fooled into thinking we AREN'T fat...!

I'm happy to read that Wilma fought the urges to stop for comfort food! And I agree - YES - it's so important for us to have GOOD food ready, especially on hectic days. Staying out of the drive-thrus is a necessity!

Stress!

Well stress is SURELY a factor in how you eat! I had a boatload of stress today and on the way home I'm thinking I could really eat some homemade mac n cheese and corn fritters! Of course, I didn't come home and make it (more because I'm lazy and didn't have the ingredients). I came home and ate my dinner right away and now we're cooking the rest of our meals for the week. I know that if I have the stuff cooked and prepped I won't fall off the wagon as quickly. Nothing causes failure quicker than not being prepared! So, we should be good for the night! - Wilma

Week #2 Weigh-In (Wilma)

New Weight: 271.4
Pounds Lost This Week: 2.8
Total Pounds Lost So Far: 7.6
Pounds To Goal: 34.2

Great Job Bam Bammette!! Excellent work Betty!

I wasn't expecting much and am okay with my results considering but this week I'm gonna pump it up, so look out Betty! LOL!

February 1, 2009 (Betty)

New Weight: 367
Pounds Lost This Week: 5
Total Pounds Lost So Far: 17
Pounds To Goal: 41

I'm happy with it :)

Bam-Bammette lost 3 pounds also!